Courtney and I joke about constructing a wormhole between our houses so we could easily visit back and forth. Now I’m afraid all that joking around has opened a portal not to her yard, but Hades. There are demon-trees, the likes of which I have never seen anywhere, crawling up through my innocent bushes. They are frighteningly sinister – the evil pouring off of them gives me goose bumps.
They grow fast. Kyle attacked and removed several, but 3 are buried deep inside other bushes. One is already at least seven. feet. tall. Is this a new species? Are they sent from the devil as punishment for trying to kill the old gnarly rose plants that just won’t die? Courtney suggested they may be a hybrid of those roses and some other tree. Is this possible?? Are the roses going to devour us for trying to do them in? Will they envelope the house until we can only escape by wielding axes and flame throwers? Will my poor bridal wreath bush have to be sacrificed to save us all, or is moving to a new house our only hope of survival?
Does anyone have any idea what this thing is?!?!